Isn’t every Jewish Mother an interior designer??


Well I’m now a 50-something year-old and my son has moved out and have no intention of leaving good old Finchley. So what do I do next with my life? I’ve tried learning bridge and play around twice a week with the ladies. I couldn’t learn Spanish to save my life and have no interest in going into business. I guess its time to redecorate my house!

And I wanted to hire an interior designer to do my house, but then my husband said “Isn’t every Jewish woman an interior designer?” I suppose he’s right. Who am I kidding? I love a project. Anything that lets me make every decision and keeps me up all night worrying. This is what any Jewish Mother dreams for!

What to avoid

Yes, I have family in Hampstead Garden Suburbs (the snoburbs for short ) and they have all taken the plunge to redesign their home in the last year. They’re now at the point where all their homes now look the same. Job done.

The theme is as follows:

How was the build? “Omg, it was a nightmare, the builders took forever, they made such a mess, we literally had to live on a building site for two weeks.”

Hidden compartments. I can’t tell what’s a door and what’s not a door!

There is some art piece. What is it? A bird? A half naked statue? Its art and its beautiful, but still awkward to be surrounded by half naked people.

Lounge area. The couch is so firm. I’m not sure if its a living area or if I’m in the waiting room of some shrink.

Whiskey. The men have to show off something and its usually a large whiskey collection.

“The Family Shrine”

My one friend redecorated her house and literally printed off every photo she had of her ‘beautiful’ family and plasted it around the home.

So pleased I can relive their skiing holiday from 2003 and their trip to the Grand Canyon in 2008. There’s a drawing on the refrigerator like the kid draw it last week – yes, but the kid is now 28. You go to the bathroom, boom, there’s family photos starring at you.

Congratulations on your beautiful family.

What I am looking for

I’m looking for something homely – a nice soft carpet and a couch I can sink my teeth into. My husband falls asleep two minutes into watching something, so I might as well be comfortable when I hear his snoring!

I would like a beige or gold coloured couch, so at least it colour coordinates with my Cockapoo.

And I quite like these Gerstein pieces from Israel (in case anyone wants to buy me one for my 60th!)



And best of all I’m designing my kitchen with the help of The Wood Works and am schlepping to Hitchin (for my kitchen) when actually they’re opening in Mill Hill next year – DUFFKA!

G-d Bless you my boobalahs!

The Jewish Mother