Have you heard??
The Israelis have been coming to London to get some sunshine!
That’s right my boobalahs, London is having a heatwave and everyone I know is schvitzing. Can you believe it??? Of all places, London is having hotter weather than Israel and Miami! And you guessed it, NW London Jews aren’t exactly the best when it comes to handling hot temperatures – or any temperatures for that matter: “I’m too hot, I’m too cold, I think I’m coming down with something.”
The ways Jews handle the heat
• They complain – after all it’s therapeutic. They say things like “oy vey it’s so hot, I’m schvitzing!”
• They go shopping … no queues and everything’s air conditioned!
• They go on holiday – they didn’t think there was going to be any sun so they booked a holiday abroad even though the weather is hotter in London! DUFFKA!
• They wear sunglasses 24/7 and it seems like Raybans have just become another must-have accessory of the Jews.
Feel like a schluff
Your everyday person loves this heat. They dress down, go to the pub and they don’t complain. But if you’re a tribe member, all you want to do is have a schluff.
But no! You cant schluff! It’s still light outside! And it’s way too hot. When you finally go to bed, you can’t sleep and then the sweat has made you superglued to your sheets – Schmutz City!
How to handle the heat
If you’re part of the Hampstead and St John’s Wood crowd and you have the privilege of air conditioning, PLEASE IGNORE THE BELOW
Everyone has their own way of keeping cool. We have the fans going in my house and we even stick ice packs on the fans to keep the air super cool. I never quite understood why we have fans that rotate – by the time it gets to you, it leaves again!
One of the hardest things is keeping your pet cool because after all, they have a furry coat on them. Here is some inspiration!
(I think the rubber ducks are a delightful touch!)
Maybe lay off the chicken soup this week and go for some old fashioned Jewish Mum of the Year-inspired gazpacho soup!!! Also, you complain now that it’s too hot, but it won’t be long before we’re complaining that it’s rainy and cold again …
G-d Bless you my boobalahs,
The Jewish Mother
Good luck Team GB!!!
A very special mention goes to Team Great Britain competing in this 19th Maccabiah in Israel. Over 9,000 Jews from 81 countries are taking part and hopefully they’re going to bring us back some nachas!!